How many is to many?

Posted by RottMommy 6 months ago. The latest reply is from Bride2be2010.

RottMommy

Posted 6 months ago

I originally wanted 150 people for our wedding. Well the number exploded to 195 and I said fine no more. Ya my list is at 225 right now. We're paying for our wedding not our parents. How do I cut the list when it's a lot of his "family?" My family is huge to but I'm not inviting the cousins I don't talk to. He doesn't get it. HELP!!!!
Ash2011

Posted 6 months ago

I've heard of people just inviting everyone to the ceremony but only include a reception invitation for certain guests. Or if it's important to your fiance to have all of his family, maybe you could just go for it and have hors d'oeuvres at your reception rather than a whole meal to reduce cost. Good Luck!
michaelsmommy12

Posted 6 months ago

An idea we had for our wedding was my husband to be and I sat down seperately and made out our guests lists. Those who ended up on both lists were an automatic in and everyone else had to be wittled down to the most important. Maybe you could make a criteria of if you haven't talked to them in more than 6 months or if they have never known you guys as a couple they are out. It might seem rough but if you want to cut down on your list it might be neccessary. Either way congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Bride2be2010

Posted 6 months ago

I am in the same situation as you right now... My list is around 200+ and that is family alone. I want to invite many of my friends as well, but I have to think about my funds in the long run! (Since I am a do it yourself bride).
Right now I am only concentrating on family, because we have the most fun with them anyway, I wont have to worry about anyone flaking out and NOT coming if I just deal with family. My friends that i am inviting are friends that I have grown up with, so they are an exception.
Like I said, it's ur wedding and your money, invite who you want because no1 else is helping with funds. My Fiance and I are paying for our own wedding as well. We don't want to hear any complaints later on down the line like "I helped pay for your wedding". So to avoid hassle, everything falls in our hands!
lily19780

Posted 5 months ago

We still have yet to fine tune our list, but what I am trying to keep in mind is that this a memorable occasion and do I really want to share it with a second cousin twice removed that I haven't talked to since I was 2? Uh..NO! So that is the rule that I am trying to stick to.
SEArkPlanner

Posted 5 months ago

All of these are excellent suggestions. You might also consider having a second guest list in reserve so that as you begin receiving "regrets" from list A, you can send an invitation to someone on list B. You can almost always plan that 15% to 25% of your original invitees will be unable to attend, so that gives you a little leeway on inviting others that you'd really like to have there. Sure, they'll get their invitation a little later than list A, but they'll still be honored that they were invited. Ash2011's idea of heavy hors d'oeuvres instead of a meal is also excellent. The right selection and variety of heavy hors d'oeuvres IS a meal, and less expensive. Good luck and best wishes!
Lise

Posted 5 months ago

Since your famiy is the largest, have a sit-down with your parents and grandparents. Tell them you and your beau have budgeted only for 150. Tell them they need to help you cut people from the list. If they don't want to, then they should pay for the excess guests. I don't think you should skimp on food on account of all these people. Perhaps your closest family who were going to give you cash as a wedding gift can pre-pay so you can pay for plates (I only recommend this as a last resort, not really appropriate).

If all else fails, you and your fiance should make the decisions who whom to cut, cut them and be done with it. Whomever isn't happy will have to live with it. It's your day, your budget and you deserve happiness without all of this stress. Everyone is an adult and should understand. You have nothing to feel bad or guilty about, just make firm decisions, stick with your plan and have a great and memorable wedding. Best! Lise'
Bride2be2010

Posted 5 months ago

I am in the same exact situation that u are in.
I have a little over 200 and that is just family alone... I wont my friends to be there, but our family is taking over the numbers. So right now we are only concentrating on family and if there is room we will add friends!